Ways to say 'no visitors' after birth

Feline Mönke
2022-09-15T10:00:03+02:00

Learn from real experiences and tips shared by the Tula community about setting boundaries for visitors after a new baby's arrival.
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With the arrival of a new baby, many exciting things are awaiting.

Whether it is packing your hospital bag, preparing baby nursery furniture and decorations, practicing babywearing with your Tula Baby Carrier and much more – every second has been dedicated to the preparations for arrival of your baby.

And as soon as your little one is born, your family and friends are probably ready to visit and meet your newest family member.

No Visitors At Home After Baby

Even though you might not feel like it now, you might not want to have your family and friends over straight away.

You might want to have time for yourself, to help your body heal and adjust to your new chapter in life, before having everyone over for a visit. The postpartum period for a woman and her newborn is very important for their health, newborn's immune system and well-being. But how do you determine the best way to say “no visitors at home after giving birth”? The social ramifications of setting this boundary can certainly be a challenge.

We understand that it can be difficult to say no to visitors after birth. With a few expecting parents on the Tula team, which reminded us that there are so many questions that come with welcoming a baby. We thought we would help answer some of these questions by asking our community to share their personal experiences and ideas.

How can I communicate my wishes?

Our question for you:

Is there a polite way to say “no visitors” right after a baby is born?

Here's what some of you said:

1. wrap that baby up in your favorite (Tula of course!) carrier or wrap." - Kate T.

2. I made a Facebook post. Telling everyone we appreciated their thoughts and prayers, but we wanted to spend quality time as a family of 3 before my husband returned to work. And if anyone wanted to stop by, to please text or call to ensure we're awake and accepting visitors." - Alishia S.

3. We waited a day with each of our kids. Best decision we ever made. We got sweet, precious, bonding time as a family that we can never recreate. No visitors to make happy or be shy around when nursing for those first times. It's your family and your time. You can't get it back. Make the memories you wish for!" - Leah H.

4. We had an open house for a few hours some day after baby is born. Light snacks and drinks. No one who is sick is allowed over. Then we hole up for a few months." - Laura K.

5. "We know how keen you are to meet our newest member, but please allow us time to get to know each other. If you wish to visit, please contact myself or my partner on xxxx and we will let you know if we are up for visitors. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation." - Lu W.

6. Announcements at our baby showers and on social media that we were super excited and would be sure to let everyone know once we were ready to accept visitors. We also didn't announce her birth to anyone outside immediate family until we got home from the hospital." - Lauren K.

7. Explain that you'd like time to rest and for your family to spend time getting to know the newest member." - Lisa L.

8. "I assign a family member to stand guard. (Hubby or mom) to be blunt and let people know if / when they can visit." - Olivia S.

9. "Hubby screened all the visitors for us. We weren’t going to have hospital visitors but bubs was there for nearly two weeks so we said yes to immediate family and had visitors one person or couple per day. Then when home spaced visitors out over a couple months." - @brookekeckhardt

10. "I said yes to immediate family only, but even with them I made sure they washed and sanitized their hand up to their elbows. I think the nicest way to say that you don't want visitors is to just say, At the moment you want bonding time to get to know your baby and your little family and ask that they respect your wishes and you'll let them know when you're ready for visits." - @kayladlove

11. I didn't tell people we had the baby until we were ready for visitors. That was the easiest. And it helped us avoid people stopping in during the birthing process. We wanted it to only be me and my husband. It was so intimate, even though none of it went according to plan." - @kluvbug0206

12. "Once I became a mom saying no (along with many other things) became much easier. You just say no." - @summerluludesigns

13. "Scheduling a meet and greet is a great way to deter visitors. Let everyone know that mom and baby are getting acquainted and you would love for everyone to meet baby after 6 weeks (or whenever)." - @fairlybrutal

14. It All Comes Down To Your Preference

We get that the prospect of setting boundaries with family and friends for when you’re ready for visitors can be difficult. But remember, the most important thing after giving birth is, to take care of yourself and your little newborn. Remember that you are the mum and it is absolutely fine to say no to visitors for a period of time.

You might want to consider some of our options to set boundaries on visiting and to say no when necessary. Take control of the situation, whether it is a scheduled meet and greet or developing a plan that best works for you. And be sure you have your baby carrier close by when visitors are coming, so your baby can be near you, if needed. You’ve got this, mama!